DO YOU RECOGNIZE YOURSELF IN MY STORY?
My picturesque perfect dreams of what I envisioned my life to be vanished the day I gave birth to a premie. I was told that if he survived, he would never walk, and probably be dealing with lifetime devastating cognitive issues.
Decades of conventional, unconventional, and other worldly therapies, modalities, and interventions prevailed. I truly left “no stone unturned”, and continue to this day trialing anything that sounds promising. But in the early years I was on a quest to save my son, but doing so I sacrificed myself. My own needs and desires took a back seat, perhaps even buried in a dark. basement. Still there, but never having the luxury to take a sneak peak, and God forbid dream again.
I gained 50 lbs and lost my self esteem. I hated going out because that would mean I would have to wear an outfit which I knew I didn’t have because I refused to buy clothes in a certain size. I was frumpy, and frankly my Mom looked so much better than me.
Age 46 - years of chronic neglect and inflammation in my body
Age 50 - after I transformed myself
I was a powerhouse advocating for my son’s needs, but lost my own voice for self. I had trouble making decisions for my own needs, because I either didn’t have the time, energy or lacked the desire. I guess I didn’t think I mattered much. Everybody’s else’s needs came first.
On the surface I looked like I had my act together. I pretended I had control, and routinely wore a smile on my face. I was the go-to person for ideas and inspiration, or an intense empathetic listener for my colleagues and clients. Finding solutions for everyone; except me. I knew I was admired but it didn’t count because I was wearing a mask. I was miserable and bored and didn’t dare show the truth.
My home life was not much better. My spouse and I fought over parenting, and my son needed a vast amount of intervention, and craved constant attention with negative behaviors. I would cry in the car, and call my Dad for moral support. My friends were lovely but soon realized I was not physically available to hang out or chitchat. They understood as best they could, but didn’t really get it because they didn’t live the life of a 24/7 caretaker.
Does my story sound like yours?
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR STORY BY REWRITING THE PROGRAM IN YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM OF WHAT IS POSSIBLE.
If you can imagine it, you can create it. It might sound impossible to you, but it is true. I can say this because I did it myself, and I will compassionately show you how. As you transform, so does everyone and circumstances around you. My son is living proof, and that is why I was driven to write my memoir “NO STONE UNTURNED: How My Special Needs Child and I Transformed Against All Odds”.